Christmas

I have not really been looking forward to Christmas this year.  It’s going to be totally different as, for the first time in around 30-years, we will be on our own.

Friends who have joined us for Christmas Day for the past 20-odd years won’t be coming, my son is in Africa and won’t be coming home and my lovely Dad passed earlier this year. 

I guess it’s felt a little like the empty nest syndrome.  My Decembers have always been full of activity, preparing for the big day and making it special for others.  This year I have not been able to sum up any enthusiasm.   

So what is wrong with me, I wonder.  Why do I feel the need to surround myself with people and take on all the hard work that Christmas brings to make others happy?  Will it be so bad to be on our own this year?

So time to get a grip, and get over it!!

I have so much in my life to be happy and grateful for, especially at Christmas time.  I’m doing some amazing things leading up to Christmas and next year promises to be fabulous – so what on earth is my problem?

I have a son who I adore and I know he loves me very much.  He is living his life, having a wonderful time and is following his path. Yes, I will miss him, but he is happy.  I had a wonderful and loving father and we shared a special relationship that many don’t.  Yes, I will miss him, but he has now moved on.  I have friends whose company I love and I have not lost that.  Yes, I will miss them but they want to do something different. 

I still have two really special people with me and we will still spend our Christmas Day together.  Yes, it will be different, but different doesn’t always mean worse.  Life is what we make it; we can choose to wallow in self-pity and hate the changes that are enforced upon us or we can embrace the change and look forward to something completely different.

So I will look forward to Christmas and all the specialness that the day will bring.