Facing Fears

Eight years ago I had breast cancer, went through chemotherapy and radiotherapy and was finally discharged from the hospital in 2012. As any cancer survivor will tell you, we live with the fear of it striking again.

You can understand, therefore, how terrified I have been after I started to experience some discomfort over the past few weeks.

I tried to keep positive and harbour only positive thoughts, but this was becoming a struggle.  I often advise others to confront their fears head-on, as the fear then loses its power.  Life is a constant series of highs and lows and it's the way that we deal with the bad times that help shape us.  But my mind was just racing - why now when my life was really happy, when Gill and I had just started our beloved Como Centre and it was going so well.  Surely Spirit must have more work for me to do here.

I confided my fears in just a couple of people - their advice was unanimous; get it checked.  I asked my guides and angels for help - their advice was the same; get it checked.  But I was scared, so I left it.

Last night I had an horrendous night - no sleep at all and by this morning not only had the breast cancer returned, but had spread to my lymph nodes, lungs and possibly bones!  How pathetic am I?

This couldn't continue.

So this morning I decided I would face it head-on, whatever the outcome, and I got an appointment with the doctor.  He reassured me that he could find nothing and my discomfort was most likely due to scar tissue. However, he would see me again in 4-weeks time and if he thought there were any changes, or I was not happy, then he would refer me to the Breast Clinic.  But he was confident that all was well.

This evening I am extremely relieved and happy, but had the result been different I was ready to deal with it. I cannot live with fear, it eats you up and ruins all happiness.  It is there, constantly at the back of your mind, like a big dark cloud hanging over you; you are not free to be the person you truly are.

If you are facing a fear, face it head on, deal with it and reduce its power over you.  Free yourself to live the life you want and deserve.