The Funeral

Dad’s funeral was last Friday and, as funerals go, I have to say it was a good one.

When I awoke that morning I asked my guides and angels to be with me throughout the day and they didn’t let me down.  The first song I heard on the radio when I turned it on was the Eurythmics “There Must be an Angel”.  Everything went according to plan; the church was packed and it was standing room only.  My son read the Eulogy and I was both amazed and so proud of him.  The evening was spent with really good friends; a few drinks, a nice meal and a bit of relaxation.  We had waved my Dad off and now he was home.

I went to see Dad that morning at the funeral home.  I only went because my son wanted to go and I didn’t want him to do it alone.  Dad looked peaceful, but he wasn’t there – it really was an empty shell.  My son and I cried a lot and I guess it confirmed for us that Dad had really gone; I’m glad we went.

The following day the hard work of clearing his home started and what really struck me was how you spend a lifetime collecting bits and pieces to have someone chuck it all out at the end of the day.  There is no way I could fit the contents of Dad’s home into mine and, to be honest, neither would I want to.  Dad’s stuff was his memories, not mine.  So I have one or two little bits, plus loads of photos, and the rest had to go.  But it has made me think about the stuff I have in my own home, the things that I have collected over the years and yes, they do hold lots of memories, but now I believe that life should be more about experiences rather than a collection of things.

Clearing out Dad’s things has made me think about getting my own house in order; one day my Son will have to clear out after me and at the moment it will not be easy.

One of the moments that made me smile was just after I had poured a nearly full bottle of wine down the sink.  There was a loud knocking at the door but when I opened it there was no-one there.  I’m pretty sure it was Dad letting me know that he was not best pleased with me – he did like his glass of wine or two!

So, with everything just about complete, I am left to adjust to a life without my Dad.  And yet I know he’s still with me.

I love you Dad xx