Highs & Lows

This time of year always brings about time for both reflection and anticipation and I spent most of yesterday reflecting over 2014 and everything it brought for me - the lows as well as the highs. I have learnt over the past year that you have to have some low points in order to learn and grow; to bring balance. I'm not always sure what my lesson is, but I trust that it is needed. I have also learnt to really enjoy the highs, to be grateful and to let it move on when the time is right.

One of the highs for me in 2014 was to have my son home for Christmas. He arrived on his birthday - 24 November - and left again on Boxing Day. I had a whole month with him and I enjoyed every single moment of it. Yes, I was sad when he left, but I knew it was time for him to move forward in his journey. We talked a great deal while he was home and I am so proud of the man he has become. We now travel the same pathway, albeit at different rates.

The greatest honour for me during his stay was to take him through Reiki Level 1. I cannot begin to describe how blessed I felt - not only did he want to embrace Reiki but he wanted me to be his Reiki Master!

Was this my highlight in 2014? It was one of many.

After the High ...

After floating around on a bit of a high all day Saturday after the launch of Como, I came crashing back down on Sunday.

Two things happened – the first was I developed a cold.  I’m sure I had probably been incubating it for a few days, but once everything had returned to normal my body allowed it to break free!  Not too bad in the grand scheme of things and plenty of self-Reiki will ensure a speedy recovery.

The second thing that happened, and more devastating for me, was that my father had a stroke!  He is 87-years old and lives alone but amazingly he happened to be with a neighbour when it happened.  He was obviously taken straight to hospital and I rushed to be there, but it’s a two and a half hour drive away and it seemed to take forever.  When I got to the hospital he was conscious but had lost his speech and was paralysed down the right side of his body.

I felt totally useless and out of control, all I could do was pump tons of Reiki into him and boy, was he drawing it.

It’s early days to think about the long-term prognosis but, for him, this is the worst possible thing that could happen and I am not sure how he will cope.  He’s a very independent, proud man and the limits his age places on his body already frustrates him.

At this point in time I’m not sure of my own feelings.  Part of me wants him to pass over to a better life but I don’t want to lose my Dad.

The one thing that is helping so much is the knowledge that there is better to come for him.  I am trying hard to live in the now – worrying will not change a thing, but it’s hard.

We all have to lose people we love, and I’m certainly not looking for the sympathy vote here, but I just want to share how much Reiki and my spiritual knowledge is helping me at the moment.  I’m concerned that others might think I’m heartless and callous but, really, I only want the best for my Dad.

But it’s his journey to make and, although I will be with him as much as I possibly can, this is one journey that I can’t make with him.