The Harshness of Life

Last week we saw a teenager kill one of his teachers in school. The nation was horrified, and quite rightly so. What on earth is our world coming to when young people can take another's life so carelessly. I thought about this tragic incident for a long while, trying to understand and make sense of it all.

On a spiritual level I get it. Before returning to this life, the boy had chosen this as his lesson to learn. Coming from the same Soul Group the teacher agreed to play her part in his lesson and chose to be the victim. Their love for one another is unending and unconditional. From the teacher's point of view her job is done, she has helped this young man and now she can go home.  The boy has to continue with his lesson and live out the rest of his life coping with the tough consequences. So what was his lesson to learn, you may ask. I have no idea and I should think at this point in time, neither does he.

Now don't get me wrong, just because I understand all that doesn't mean that I like it. I feel a deep sadness for the teacher and her family and I also feel compassion for the boy and his family - they are all going through a very tough time.

And I live in this world where acts of violence appal and anger me; the blatant disregard some folk have for others is shocking to say the least. Sometimes I want to hit out and retaliate, but that's not the answer. As Gandhi once said "an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind".

I don't have any answers, maybe there are none. Maybe this is exactly how it's meant to be until we all start to realise that humanity has to change, that we have to move as one towards love and compassion in order to survive.

Sometimes I feel like I'm living in two worlds and I find it difficult to merge the harsh realities of this life with my spiritual awareness. 

Psychometry

This week we held our second Spiritual Forum at the Como Centre.  It’s our aim at Como to just let these evenings flow and see what crops up.

This week we discussed psychometry and after a while we decided to break into smaller groups and give it a try.  Now, I’ve never tried this before and I didn’t really expect much to happen but I was in for a bit of a surprise.

I took the object belonging to the person I was working with and held it for a few minutes.  Nothing really was happening and I began thinking that this wasn’t really for me.  I didn’t really know what to expect – would I see, would I hear or would I just know?  

After a while I became aware of water, lots of water – not rough like the ocean but more like a calm, still lake.  I wasn’t seeing this, I just knew it.  It was a vast stretch of water, no land around it.  There was a boat, like a rowing boat but much bigger, with a man standing at the front.  My view of him was from the rear and he was moving out of the darkness and into the light.  It was important that I should understand this, moving from the dark into the light.  I felt he was a young man, he passed young and suddenly.  He wanted me to know that he was ok now, no more suffering and he felt sorry for what he had done (whatever that was).  I then started to feel a physical tightness around my neck.

The person I was working with accepted everything I was saying and confirmed how the young man had passed. 

I was quite amazed by all of this as I really didn’t think I would be able to feel anything from an object.  Sometimes I tend to make things far too complicated and forget that we really do need to do is stand back, trust and accept the first things that pop into our minds.

I don’t know whether I will do more psychometry, but I will certainly do more with my intuitive abilities.

Past Life Regression

Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been thinking that it’s time for another training course.  Where is all this coming from, I wonder, this need to learn?  As one course draws to an end, I start to consider the next one.

So I enrolled on a “Past Life Regression and Hypnotherapy” course and started today.  Lesson 1 and I’m loving it already. 

Naturally my thoughts start to turn to past lives and what do I know of my own?  Well not too much really.  But if you measure what I know with the average person, then I guess I have an insight into quite a lot.

Around 30-odd years ago I formed a spiritual circle with my best friend.  She and I used to work together and from the day we first met we both had this sense of closeness and that knowing each other forever kind of feeling – I’m sure you’ve all experienced those kind of feelings at some point.  After sitting in circle for quite some time, we were eventually made aware that we both shared a past life, we were related and were like, but not of, the Inca people.  That’s all we got but it explained the closeness we felt.

It was a similar experience when I met by business partner, Gill.  We felt an affinity and I had an overwhelming sensation of “I know you, but not in this lifetime”.  Once again, during a development circle, we were told that we shared a past life and were related.  The relationship extended to two other members of our circle who we also felt an affinity with.  We have no other details of our shared life, maybe something worth exploring.

I have always had an affinity with the second world war and last year, whilst in Germany, I experienced overwhelming sensations of fear and fleeing through the woods.  Perhaps I had a life during that period, I don’t know.  Maybe I will find out more on my new course!

It’s a fascinating subject and one that I shall take great delight in exploring.

What a Week

It’s been a week of increasing excitement which culminated yesterday with our first Como Spiritual & Holistic Fair.

A month or so ago Gill, my partner in Como, and I decided we would incorporate holistic training into Como and spent weeks writing manuals for accreditation.  We submitted the manuals at the beginning of the week and heard by the end of it that, with a few tweaks, our manuals will be accredited.

We then got the lease agreement for the property we want to rent, and it all looks fine.  Next week we hope to be signing on the dotted line.

We are already starting to get enquiries from potential students, which is quite amazing as we haven’t even advertised yet.

And finally our Fair went very well and we had a lovely day.  The hall was filled with a mixture of therapists, readers and traders and we even had a lovely young lady lead a Shamanic drumming healing session for everyone present.  Wonderful stuff.

We had international medium David Rowan with us for the day and Gill and I decided to have a joint reading.  Seems like we’re on the right track and next year will be extremely busy for us.  Our centre will go from strength to strength and will help many. 

So, onwards and upwards!

What a week – not sure how it can get any better than that.

What a Day

This week my partner in Como and I had one of our monthly business meetings and what a fabulous day it turned out to be.

We had been discussing recently the prospect of finding some premises that felt a little more permanent.  Something  that was more our own, somewhere we could call home.  So our first job on Friday was to look at a local village hall.  Unsure whether it would be suitable or not, we met the booking lady and had a look around.  It had everything we needed, was a good size, the rent was affordable and there was parking space.  What’s more, it was hardly used, it was likely that we could store some of our stuff and there was a possibility of us being given a key if we made regular bookings.  The hall had a lovely feeling and we know that we could add to the energies.  Whilst we were standing talking the door suddenly banged shut and Gill, my partner, felt that our friends upstairs wanted us to be there and they were shutting us in!!

From there we went to The Office, otherwise known as our local!  We found a quiet little corner and sat and discussed our current events, what we could and couldn’t do, what was feasible, what we could afford, etc.  As we talked we began to realise that we were being guided, we were being told of the way to proceed and before too long we had a new structure and a new approach for the coming year.  We had a plan that we both felt comfortable with and that we knew would work.

Our next task was a visit to a local Psychic Fair.  It was a bit of a recce really as we wanted to see how it was run, what sort of stalls were there and whether we could pick up anybody for our own Spiritual and Holistic Fair in December.  The visit was well worthwhile as everyone we talked to were really positive and we picked up quite a few customers.  We are now confident that we will have a hall packed with stalls selling some wonderful stuff, plus some really good people giving readings.

Our day culminated with our Reiki Share Group.  Three new ladies joined us for the evening, two of whom were visitors from Kent and Spain – wow, how good was that.  We totalled 12 and what a fabulous night we had.  The Share was fairly quiet and felt a lot calmer than the one we held a couple of months ago but, nevertheless, the energies were fantastic and each of us got a lot from it.  We are all growing in our knowledge and experience and are moving forward on our pathways.

Phew, what a day!

One Day at a Time

“Let’s take it one day at a time” - I used to hate those words.  I didn’t want to take it one day at a time – I wanted to know what was going to happen, I wanted to plan, I wanted to be in control.  I wanted to know what the end result would be.

When I had cancer I was constantly being told “let’s just take it one day at a time”.  I wanted to scream and yell at the doctors – why couldn’t they answer my questions, why couldn’t they tell me I was going to be ok?

These past few weeks after my Dad’s stroke I had those same feelings.  The doctors couldn’t give me any answers and I couldn’t make any plans.  I felt out of control and my life was in limbo, exactly the same feelings I had during the cancer.

Only this time I took time out and really started to think about the way I was feeling, why did I need to be in control of everything?  Well, I still don’t know the answer to that but I do know it doesn’t have to be that way.

A few months ago I decided that I would try to live more in the present, be in the now, but it wasn’t always easy to do.  And, of course, it was easier when my life was running smoothly.  Now I have issues to deal with, emotions get in the way and I have to deal with all the practical stuff that comes with being the only child of a parent who’s preparing to pass.

I’m not pretending it’s easy but, you know, living in the now actually does work.  Why worry about doing something when today you can do nothing about it.  Put it out of your mind until tomorrow, or the day that it will be possible to do something.  And actually what I have found is some of the things that I worried about at the beginning of my Dad’s illness are now totally irrelevant because events have overtook the need for action.  The worry about what I should do at that time was pointless.

This morning I woke up whittling about whether I needed to get the gas board to turn off the gas to the cooker, but I can’t do anything today because it’s Sunday.  It’s out of my mind now, I’ll think about it again tomorrow.

So I recommend trying to live in the now, the present moment  – give it a go, what have you got to lose?

After the High ...

After floating around on a bit of a high all day Saturday after the launch of Como, I came crashing back down on Sunday.

Two things happened – the first was I developed a cold.  I’m sure I had probably been incubating it for a few days, but once everything had returned to normal my body allowed it to break free!  Not too bad in the grand scheme of things and plenty of self-Reiki will ensure a speedy recovery.

The second thing that happened, and more devastating for me, was that my father had a stroke!  He is 87-years old and lives alone but amazingly he happened to be with a neighbour when it happened.  He was obviously taken straight to hospital and I rushed to be there, but it’s a two and a half hour drive away and it seemed to take forever.  When I got to the hospital he was conscious but had lost his speech and was paralysed down the right side of his body.

I felt totally useless and out of control, all I could do was pump tons of Reiki into him and boy, was he drawing it.

It’s early days to think about the long-term prognosis but, for him, this is the worst possible thing that could happen and I am not sure how he will cope.  He’s a very independent, proud man and the limits his age places on his body already frustrates him.

At this point in time I’m not sure of my own feelings.  Part of me wants him to pass over to a better life but I don’t want to lose my Dad.

The one thing that is helping so much is the knowledge that there is better to come for him.  I am trying hard to live in the now – worrying will not change a thing, but it’s hard.

We all have to lose people we love, and I’m certainly not looking for the sympathy vote here, but I just want to share how much Reiki and my spiritual knowledge is helping me at the moment.  I’m concerned that others might think I’m heartless and callous but, really, I only want the best for my Dad.

But it’s his journey to make and, although I will be with him as much as I possibly can, this is one journey that I can’t make with him.

One Week To Go

This time next week and we will be in the throes of launching our Como Centre for Enlightenment

I am both very excited and very nervous – is that normal?  Yes, I expect it is.

I am excited about launching our Centre and all the wonderful things we can do and the journeys that we will be undertaking.  I’m excited about meeting our guest speaker, Dominic James, and hearing of his journey into Reiki and how he became an author.  I am so looking forward to all the new people that we will be meeting.

I am nervous about this huge leap into the unknown, although I don’t doubt for one minute that this is the right direction to move in.  I am nervous that the evening will be a disaster as, to date, we have not been overwhelmed with ticket sales.  I am nervous that Dominic might think it’s all been a waste of his time if he doesn’t walk into a packed hall.

We have sold some tickets, and we still have a week to go, but just not in the numbers that I expected.  But perhaps that’s my problem – I haven’t managed my expectations very well at all.  A good friend of mine suggested that maybe I ought to consider cancelling the event!  No way – not an option!!  I wouldn’t even discuss it with her.

My partner, Gill, and I have advertised everywhere we can think of, both on-line and locally.  We’ve created a simple website and a Facebook page.  We have no money to put into this venture so are totally reliant on goodwill and free advertising.  People have been very kind and have taken, and displayed, our posters.  We have contacted local radio and hope we get a mention.  Plus, of course, I have been asking “my people” for help – I’m sure they’ll be glad when Friday is over and I quieten down a bit!

There is nothing more we can do.  I’m trying not to worry, it’s one of my daily affirmations.  Worrying will not help one little bit and I have to accept that what will be will be.  We have one week to go, I have trust and “my people” will ensure that this event is as perfect as it should be.

It’s going to be quite a week!

The Next Step

The next stage on my journey has just began and, yup, it’s taking me even further out of my comfort zone.

Once I had decided to allow Reiki to take me where it wants to, things have just gone from better to better.

Around 6-weeks or so ago my friend Gill and I started talking about a possible joint venture whereby we could help support and guide those about to embark on their own spiritual journey.  We were both Reiki Master Teachers and had a wealth of spiritual experience between us – was it now time to start helping others?

Well there’s no time like the present so this week we announced the formation of our own Centre for Enlightenment.

I placed my trust in my “people” and asked for help on how to get the Centre off the ground.  We needed a launch event of some sort and had no idea what we could do – they did!  They put the idea in my head and, oh boy, was it a good one.  But I was unsure whether it would happen and was hesitant about making that first approach.  But they had given me this idea so the very least I could do was to try – I made the first approach.

Dominic C. James is a Reiki Master and author of The Reiki Man.  His second book is due out later this month and he lives in my area.  I needed to contact him and ask if he would be willing to be our Guest Speaker at our launch event.  I sent an e-mail.

As soon as I hit that send button my brain kicked in with “it will never happen”, “he’ll charge too much”, “he’ll say no” and on and on it went.  I checked my e-mails every 5-minutes for a week – no reply.  That’s it, he wouldn’t do it, he didn’t want to know – Gill and I would have to come up with another plan for our launch.  One morning last week I was mulling over what kind of event we could come up with and what a shame that Dominic didn’t want to do it as he would have been so perfect.  So I asked for help to come up with another idea.

An hour later I had an e-mail from Dominic – yes, he would do it!!!!!  I was overjoyed and once again my people had come up trumps.  But I had forgotten that Dominic was a Reiki Master too and a very spiritual person – it’s in our make-up to help when we can.

So on Friday 15 June we will launch the Como Centre for Enlightenment and will have an Evening with Dominic C James, Reiki Master and Author.

Out of My Comfort Zone

Last August I jumped right out of my comfort zone - I left my job to do what I wanted to do!

Reiki.

I had no idea whether this would work or not, but my family agreed to support me in my dream.  At that point I was a Reiki Practitioner so set about advertising and trying to build up a practice.  It was slow, I got a few clients but it was never going to earn me a living.

Earlier this year I finally qualified as a Reiki Master Teacher and thought this would give my practice a well-needed boost and I might finally start to earn a modest living.  Wrong!!

Oh, I had a student and more will come, but I am not going to earn the living that I thought I needed.  Things were not going as I planned.  Reading around the internet I noted that others were running thriving Reiki practices, what was I doing wrong?  This gave rise to some serious self-doubt.  Oh I knew that Reiki worked, I knew that I could channel it, but for some reason no-one wanted me to channel it to them!!  What was wrong with me?

Well nothing was wrong with me, I was just approaching it in the wrong way.  I presumed that I could decide what I wanted to do and all would be well – wrong again.

Some deep thinking followed and slowly I realised that I didn’t control the way I was to work.  Oh yes, I had free will but when I tried to exercise it I was just getting nowhere.  I started to move in a different direction, I began to recognise opportunities when they appeared and I acted upon them.  I didn’t know if it would work or not, but if I didn’t try I would never know.   I joined forces with my good friend, Gill, who runs her own holistic therapy practice and, if you’ve read my earlier blogs, you will know that over the past month or so things have really started to take off.

I’ve now taken “me” out of the equation.  I don’t think it was ever an ego thing, but more one of control.  I’ve always wanted to be in control of my life, to plan and know what the outcome will be!  So, out of my comfort zone again, I’ve removed my expectations and am going with the flow.  I’m learning to follow my intuition and, believe it or not, I take daily guidance from my Angel Cards.

Now I’m taking another leap and, again, I don’t know whether this will be successful or not but I have a very good, positive feeling about it.  Gill and I are about to launch our joint venture and are  in the planning stages of our first event, which is so exciting and I will be telling you more about that soon.

Reiki is still right for me, I know that, and I hope in future I will still get opportunities to give and teach it, but I was wrong when I thought it was my decision that Reiki was the only thing I would do!

My Son and I

I’ve just spent the last hour or so reading my son’s blogs.  We don’t connect on any of the social or professional networking sites so I feel very honoured to have been invited to read these.  He’s a Life Coach and is currently doing Modelling work in Brazil.  I understand the work that he does, albeit at a very broad level, but I was totally blown away by what he is doing now and how he is connecting with teenagers in Brazil.  He is really making a difference.  If you would like to read about his work then do have a look at http://modellinginbrazil.wordpress.com/

We are all proud of our children and their achievements, which is as it should be.  I, too, am a very proud mother and nothing gives me more pleasure than watching his success, but I am amazed that he and I are now beginning to share similar ideals and beliefs and we are moving towards working in a more parallel way.

Our aims are very much the same.  We are both trying to help people to help themselves – he through his coaching skills and me through Reiki, healing and spiritual development.  We both want to help people to be more in control of their lives, to see that they have choices.  We both believe that everyone is capable of achieving much more and has the wherewithal inside them to lead a happier life.  We are both following our dreams, albeit mine coming a lot later in life!  We both share a passion for what we do.

But what I found so uplifting was his understanding that each of us are individuals and that we should not judge one another.  We know nothing of how past experiences have shaped others, what another has suffered, what they now have to put up with in their life, and so we are in no position to pass judgements.  We have not idea of where their pathways will take them, so should not try to lead them anywhere.  We allow them free will.  We each have our own pathway to walk.

It’s not easy I know, I struggle every day to be non-judgemental, but as one of the Reiki precepts it is part of my daily affirmations and I’m working on it.

Respecting one another’s values, beliefs and way of life doesn’t mean we have to agree with them, but just accept that they are so.  It doesn’t make us right and them wrong, or vice versa, just different.  If only everyone thought this way, what a world we could live in.

And so, should my son be reading my blog – I am so proud of the man you have become x

Just a Dream?

I’ve never really paid too much attention to dreams, some are nice and some not so nice but I’ve never thought too deeply about their meaning.  I know that sometimes our guides and angels work with us in dream state and I’m now wondering if that’s what happened to me last night.

The dream was this:

I’d nipped down to my local Sainsbury to get a few bits and pieces but when I came out I couldn’t remember where I’d parked my car.  The car park was half empty but I still couldn’t see it.  I used the remote to unlock the doors thinking that I would see the lights and hear it click open.  I heard the click and saw the lights flicker out of the corner of my eye, but when I turned towards it I still couldn’t see the car.  I repeated it a couple of times, heard the click and saw the lights at the periphery of my vision but as I turned towards it, still no car.  I walked back towards the shop and then I found myself on a building site.  I knew I couldn’t ask the builders about me car as they would laugh and say “silly bloody woman”.  As I walked along the building site changed into a beautiful little alleyway, the type you see lovely Mediterranean  villages.  It could have been Greek, Italian or even Spanish, I just don’t know.  I then found myself in the home of a middle-aged couple who smiled in welcome but could speak no English.  I tried to apologise for suddenly appearing in their home but I don’t think they understood, they just kept smiling and welcoming me.  I tried to find my way back out of the room, the man opened a door and pointed upwards.  There was the biggest step I’d ever seen, it reached up to my waist and I knew I would not be able to get out that way.  The man went to another door and, although I couldn’t understand what he was saying to the woman, I knew he went to get me a ladder to climb up on.  The lady told him not to, that I had to get out by myself.  I looked back inside the doorway and at shoulder level I saw two rope handles, one each side of the door.  I grabbed hold of the handles and eventually managed to pull myself up onto the step.  Once there I could see the way out but it was through a short narrow tunnel; there was bright light at the end.  I pushed and shoved and squeezed myself through and as I did so I somehow managed to turn to the woman and said “it’s a bit like giving birth”.  Then I woke up.

So it’s all a bit surreal and jumbled as only dreams can be.  But thinking about it this morning I think I begin to get its meaning.  The losing the car is unlike me as I usually remember roughly where I’ve parked it but I assimilate this to having started to develop spiritually and then stopping – I had something and then I lost it.  Using the remote and seeing the lights is rather like the feeling I sometimes have that I know something amazing, a bit like a eureka moment, but then it slips through my fingers and I’ve lost it and I can’t bring it back.  Not quite sure how a Mediterranean village home fits in but the couple seemed to be expecting me – I think they were sent to help and encourage me on my journey.  The man clearly wanted to help but the lady seemed to know that I had to achieve it on my own – find my own way.  It wasn’t easy to get through the doorway, I struggled to get up the step and big steps are always murder on my knees, but then I did have help with the rope handles.  Now I’ve been questioning long and hard lately, am I cut out for this kind of work, is it all true or just a figment of my imagination, can I trust enough to go with the flow?  For me this means that it is hard sometimes but if you put the effort in you will achieve your aims.  And finally the giving birth bit, this is me finally breaking through and making that connection within myself and seeing that I am exactly where I should be.

Now you may tell me it was just a dream, some may give me a completely different interpretation, but for now I think I am very happy with my version.

On the Threshold

I seem to have been in a perpetual state of excitement over the past couple of weeks.  It seems that Reiki has given my spiritual development a bit of a kick-start and I find that I am now seeing through new eyes.  My brain is in overdrive, constantly deep in thought and ruminating on the merits of doing this, that and the other.  I am finding that opportunities are beginning to open up and I get little glimpses of what might lay ahead.

I feel that I’m at a threshold.  

When I started Reiki, all that I envisaged was having a little Reiki practice and giving healing.  Pretty narrow vision eh?  I set about achieving this dream but found it wasn’t really happening like I wanted it to.  Yes, I was giving Reiki but mainly to family and friends – I wasn’t having people phoning me up asking for healing!  I even volunteered at a cancer centre and hospice, but no they didn’t want me either.  I had learnt to do Reiki but I couldn’t even give it away – what was wrong with me?  That’s when the self-doubt started to creep in and, I must admit, there was a time when it took over big-time and I seriously thought that I was no good at it and I would never be of service to anyone!

Stupid, stupid, stupid.  What had happened to my trust, and why on earth would I think it was all down to me – was my ego really that big?  I sat quietly and thought it all through, and I asked for help and guidance.  Oh, I got the guidance alright, but I didn’t actually like it and boy did it give me a kick up the backside.

Yes, I had learnt to do Reiki but it didn’t make me superwoman who could suddenly go out and heal the sick!  How arrogant was I thinking that people would be rushing to me to give them Reiki.  The sooner I got those thoughts out of my head, the sooner we could move on. Secondly, I was told to stop trying to run before I could walk!  Hmmmm, I’ve always been impatient so this was going to be tricky.  The third thing I was asked was what made me think that healing was my purpose?  I had naturally assumed that, because I had learnt Reiki, I would use it to give healing.  Wrong!

So I’ve done a bit of work on myself – the ego has been firmly put back in its place, I’ve stopped assuming that I know best and I’m learning to slow down and go with the flow!

Which brings me back to the beginning really.  In just a couple of weeks things have started to happen.

I was asked if I ran a Reiki Share.  I didn’t but this pushed me into doing something, so I organised just a small one and it was amazing.  This small group will continue to meet and use the time more as a development group.

I had another request from a lady asking if I had a Share she could join.  I have now joined forces with a very good friend and fellow Reiki Master - we will be expanding the shares and hopefully will be able to take everyone who asks.

I have taught and attuned my first student, which was the best experience ever.  I would love to continue teaching and pass Reiki to more people, so I hope my guides are listening and see fit to accommodate that small request!

I still don’t really know what I’m meant to do but I do know it will happen.

I trust that my "people" know what's right for me and I trust that it will happen when the time is right.

At my threshold the door is opening and the light is streaming through.

My First Reiki Teaching

There’s a first time for everything and none more exciting, while also a little intimidating, than teaching and attuning your first Reiki student.  Today was my first time!

Gill had asked me to attune her to Reiki Level III and I agreed.  Now I can hear some Reiki Masters drawing their breath through pursed lips at my going straight into teaching Level 3, rather than starting at the beginning.  So, in my defence, I will say that Gill is a really good friend of mine and I knew that she was more than ready for this attunement.  She is passionate about her Reiki work and takes the responsibility of becoming a Reiki Master seriously.  I asked my guides if it was the right thing to do and they gave their blessing.  I followed my own intuition and everything was sitting well with me.

The date had been in my diary for two to three weeks and I had prepared as well as I knew how.  The manuals were written and I had rehearsed giving an attunement many times.  I started talking to my guides about the day and asked for their help for my personal preparation.  The night before was a sleepless one for me and I was glad when it was time to get up!  In the shower I was nattering away to my “people”, asking for help, asking them to make it alright and asking them to make it good for Gill.  Ask, ask, ask, ask, ask – they must really be getting fed up with me.  Out of the shower and I turned the radio on and what was the first song I heard?  George Michael singing “you’ve gotta have faith”!  A huge smile broke out, yes, they were doing this with me.

Gill and I started and it just flowed – we didn’t always keep to the programme, but it didn’t matter.  This was Gill’s training, Gill’s attunement, and it would be right for her.  We did a meditation, fantastic.  Then it was time for the attunement and, I have to be totally honest here, there was a moment when I couldn’t think and I did panic a bit.  Then I relaxed and said “help”.  They took over and guided me through the rest of it.  The attunement done and I couldn’t get a word out of Gill.  She finally said “wow” a couple of times and eventually she was able to tell me of her experience.  I can’t share that with you because it was Gill’s experience, her story to tell if she chooses, but suffice it to say I think she had an amazing attunement.

Personally, I thought I could have done better and I am almost certain that I missed something out.  But I was told that I did ok, and that the intent was the crucial thing and I had set my intent at the beginning.

After lunch we got down to some practical work.  Gill gave me a Reiki session using her new Master symbol.  Wow, another truly amazing experience.  Again, I can only talk for my experience, but it was the first time that I felt the energy work its way through my body.  I was aware of each spinning chakra and also saw each colour.   The feeling of unconditional love was overwhelming and, yes, the tears were flowing.

So my first teaching experience was absolutely amazing.  It felt so right and I know that this is what I want to do.  This is the beginning of the next phase of my journey and it’s so exciting.

Finally, I thank Gill for being my first student, but someone had to be first!!  I know that we are destined to work together and I so look forward to our journey.

The First Reiki Share

After I completed my Reiki Training I realised that I should be getting more involved with Reiki shares and should really be thinking about running one.  This was especially important to me if I was going to teach, as I would want something in place to offer my students.

I asked my Reiki Master how I should go about it.  She gave me good advice and even offered to come and help at my first session.  That was great, but I still had to find people to come!  So I asked my guides for help and set the intent that I needed someone to join my Reiki Share Group.

A few weeks later, whilst away on holiday, I got an e-mail from a lady who lived locally asking if I knew of any Reiki share groups she could join.  I replied immediately saying that I was away but would sort something out when I got home.  This was the push I needed to put my thoughts into action.  I spent the rest of the holiday trying to think through the logistics of how I was going to start my Reiki share, could I get another couple of people and where I would hold it.

When I got home I asked my friend Gill if she was interested in joining.  She immediately agreed AND offered her treatment room.  She also had a friend who may be interested in joining, plus the lady who made the original request asked if she could bring someone with her.  All my problems solved in one go – how fantastic was that?  The only thing left to do was arrange a date that suited all.  Again, no problem – everyone was keen and we easily agreed a date.

We met last Friday and, after a rather anxious day of wondering what these ladies would be like and would we all “click”, I am very happy to report that we had the most marvellous Reiki Share that I’ve ever been to.  The energy was strong and flowing well and we all worked like we had been together for years.  As a group we have so much potential and I can’t wait till we meet again.

My guides had come up trumps for me once again.  The organisation all fell into place nicely and they directed two of the nicest ladies in my direction.  Not forgetting, of course, my lovely Gill who is always there for me.

So if you need some help, ask your guides.  They always listen and are always ready and willing to help - if, of course, it’s in your best interests!

Other Side of the World

I have just one son and I love him beyond reason.  He’s a man now, but will always be my baby.  Now I’m sure at this point all you Mums out there are in total agreement, so you’ll understand how I felt last year when he announced that he was off to Brazil for six months. 

Of course I didn’t want him to go, Brazil was the other side of the world and all sorts of nasty things could happen.  And, to be completely honest, I was afraid that he would meet a nice Brazilian girl and want to stay!

But I never really had a say in the matter and, to be honest, neither should I have.  He was an adult, it was his life and he had every right to make his own decisions without any angst being put on him by an overbearing mother.  But that didn’t stop me crying buckets when we said goodbye back in October.

Within my spiritual development I know that attachment is not good and that we all have to deal with separation at some point in our lives.  As mothers we all know the pain of separation, even an hour away from our new born is difficult.  We constantly feel that we shouldn’t be too far away in case we are needed.  As a spouse and partner the pain is immense when separation takes place after a lifetime together.

I do believe, however, that separation is only temporary – at some point we will be re-united.  But knowing and feeling are two different things.   We are living in the here and now and the pain of what we have to cope with is sometimes very difficult.

I know that my child is only about a 12-hour flight away, should he need me.  But next week I will be in Singapore – a bigger distance from my baby!  How pathetic am I?

But at the end of the day, he is living his life and I am living mine.  I enjoy every moment we spend together and when we’re apart I look forward to the next time we’ll meet.  But I have to let go, and I am learning to do this.

My love is with him constantly, as it is with all who I am separated from.