On the Threshold

I seem to have been in a perpetual state of excitement over the past couple of weeks.  It seems that Reiki has given my spiritual development a bit of a kick-start and I find that I am now seeing through new eyes.  My brain is in overdrive, constantly deep in thought and ruminating on the merits of doing this, that and the other.  I am finding that opportunities are beginning to open up and I get little glimpses of what might lay ahead.

I feel that I’m at a threshold.  

When I started Reiki, all that I envisaged was having a little Reiki practice and giving healing.  Pretty narrow vision eh?  I set about achieving this dream but found it wasn’t really happening like I wanted it to.  Yes, I was giving Reiki but mainly to family and friends – I wasn’t having people phoning me up asking for healing!  I even volunteered at a cancer centre and hospice, but no they didn’t want me either.  I had learnt to do Reiki but I couldn’t even give it away – what was wrong with me?  That’s when the self-doubt started to creep in and, I must admit, there was a time when it took over big-time and I seriously thought that I was no good at it and I would never be of service to anyone!

Stupid, stupid, stupid.  What had happened to my trust, and why on earth would I think it was all down to me – was my ego really that big?  I sat quietly and thought it all through, and I asked for help and guidance.  Oh, I got the guidance alright, but I didn’t actually like it and boy did it give me a kick up the backside.

Yes, I had learnt to do Reiki but it didn’t make me superwoman who could suddenly go out and heal the sick!  How arrogant was I thinking that people would be rushing to me to give them Reiki.  The sooner I got those thoughts out of my head, the sooner we could move on. Secondly, I was told to stop trying to run before I could walk!  Hmmmm, I’ve always been impatient so this was going to be tricky.  The third thing I was asked was what made me think that healing was my purpose?  I had naturally assumed that, because I had learnt Reiki, I would use it to give healing.  Wrong!

So I’ve done a bit of work on myself – the ego has been firmly put back in its place, I’ve stopped assuming that I know best and I’m learning to slow down and go with the flow!

Which brings me back to the beginning really.  In just a couple of weeks things have started to happen.

I was asked if I ran a Reiki Share.  I didn’t but this pushed me into doing something, so I organised just a small one and it was amazing.  This small group will continue to meet and use the time more as a development group.

I had another request from a lady asking if I had a Share she could join.  I have now joined forces with a very good friend and fellow Reiki Master - we will be expanding the shares and hopefully will be able to take everyone who asks.

I have taught and attuned my first student, which was the best experience ever.  I would love to continue teaching and pass Reiki to more people, so I hope my guides are listening and see fit to accommodate that small request!

I still don’t really know what I’m meant to do but I do know it will happen.

I trust that my "people" know what's right for me and I trust that it will happen when the time is right.

At my threshold the door is opening and the light is streaming through.