As It Should Be

It’s been quite a while since my last blog but, to be honest, I have not felt like my usual self just lately – I seem to have lost my mojo!!

Over the past month or so I seem to be suffering with one thing after another.  Nothing serious, just the usual aches and pains, pulled muscles, a bout of vertigo, a cold, infection, mouth ulcers, dizziness – but none of them seem to want to leave me completely.  I’ve done loads of self-Reiki, taken medication but still these little blighters cling to me.

So I’ve asked why?  What am I doing that prevents me enjoying good health?  What am I holding onto that I need to let go of?

My first answer came in that moment between being asleep and awake – my very own Twilight Zone.  Trust that all is as it should be.  Wooo, well, yes, that’s all very well but when you feel rubbish it’s hard to trust.

But trust I did, and decided that rather than getting anxious about all my aches and pains, I would just go with them and take each day as it comes. 

This afternoon I got another blinding answer.  You’re holding on to past illnesses.  

Mmmmm, was I?  I didn’t think so but maybe I was because when you have been through a life threatening illness you are never the same person again.  I will freely admit that every time I felt a twinge, ache or pain I would immediately blow it up out of all proportion and wonder if the cancer had returned.

OK, so now I had a couple of answers, what was I going to do?  I knew I had to trust that all was as it should be and I knew that I had to ask Archangel Michael to cut the cords that bound me to the past.

So I did that and now I just have to wait and see what happens.  But I do feel lighter and I also feel that I’m not alone.  I am confident that my aches and pains and all the grotty stuff will start to fade and I will get my mojo back.

But you know, even if I never feel 100% better, everything as is it should be and I will, somehow, deal with it. 

The Universe Will Sort it Out

I have a very close friend who suffers from a disease that, although not life-threatening, has severely affected her lifestyle.  She is a member of the local branch of the charity which helps support people with the condition.

About a month ago she asked if we would like to join them at the charity’s Christmas Lunch in mid-December.  As we’d never been before, we felt it would be nice to help support both the charity and our friend, but in doing so I would not be able to go the Bowen4Children’s Christmas party as the two events clashed. 

I really didn’t know what to do, I wanted to be at both events as they were each extremely important to me.  I was not happy about letting the Children’s Clinic down, but neither was I happy about letting my friend down and, for some reason, I could not bring myself to tell either one that I had to cancel.  So I asked the Universe for help.

I asked the Universe to sort it all out, for the good of all concerned, and I just sat back and waited.  Here’s what happened next:

Last Friday the hotel that was hosting the charity lunch went into liquidation and was closed.  The lunch was off and it looked like they would lose their £1,000 deposit.  Noooooo, this is not what I wanted. 

On Saturday it looked like they would get their deposit back, although it would take a few weeks or months to get the refund.  Ok, so they would get their money back but there were still a lot of disappointed people who would not get their Christmas lunch.

On Sunday another venue stepped in and offered to host the event.  Yesssssss, this was getting better.  However, there was just one little thing – they couldn’t accommodate the group on the original date but could do the following day.

Yes, yes, yes – how perfect was that?  The lunch is back on, no money has been lost, lots of fabulous publicity for the charity, and I can go to both events.

Universe – I love you!

A Reiki Share & A Guide

Last week at our regular Reiki Share I was quite stunned to find myself meeting a guide of a member of our group.

I had been feeling that someone was around us all evening and, with my eyes closed, had seen shadows pass before me when no one in the room had moved.  As “S” settled herself down to receive Reiki, this person came closer to me.  Somehow I just knew he was a guide and he was here for “S”.

I should add here that I don’t “see” or “hear” in the normal sense of the words.  What I have is like a memory although I have no knowledge of what I’m remembering.  Does that make sense?  It’s very hard to describe the way that I connect with spirit.  It is very subtle and therefore I always tend to doubt what I’m getting; I think it’s just my imagination.

So here I was giving Reiki and picking up on these feelings.  I sensed it was a man and quite small in size.  He had a long grey beard that tapered to a point at waist level.  He was in a black robe with his arms crossed in front of him and hands disappearing into his sleeves.  He had a small black hat on his head.  He was Chinese.

He told me, without my hearing him, that he was here for “S” to help her through a situation she was facing at the moment.  He asked me to tell her that.  Now at this point I’m thinking “this is my imagination” but then the thought popped in my head again – “you will tell her, won’t you?” I answered with the thought “Yes, I will” and then “Thank you Missy” came back to me.

I was a little blown away with that because I reasoned that I could well have imagined most of what went on, but no way would I have imagined “thank you Missy” - would I?  

I told “S” when we had finished the Reiki and she was aware that she had a Chinese guide and the fact that he was here to help her with a current situation made perfect sense to her.

When, oh when, will I start to totally trust what I’m getting and not keep thinking it’s all in my head!!

It's Been a Long Week

It’s exactly one week since my Dad had a stroke and it’s been a week of highs and lows.  There have been several times when we thought “this is it”, but he’s hanging on in there and yesterday was the best I’ve seen him all week.  We’re not out of the woods yet, but we’ll just have to wait and see what happens.

Obviously I’ve been giving and sending him Reiki on a daily basis, and what is really amazing me is that I continue to step out of the way and allow the guides to work.  I had anticipated that I would not be able to do that because I was too emotionally involved.  I thought that I would want to ask for a specific outcome, but no, I am sending the Reiki for his highest possible good.  Quite amazing.

I’m also surprised that I am a lot calmer than I thought I would be and I think my step-family are surprised by my reactions.  Yes, of course I’m upset about what’s happened to my Dad, but I can’t be so demanding of a medical team who don’t have all the answers and can’t comment on his long-term recovery.  I can’t make plans for 6-weeks ahead because I just don’t know what will happen.

I am learning to live in the now, and I am happy to do so.  I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, I hope it will be good but worrying today will not change tomorrow.  I will do my bit by setting good intentions and sending Reiki.

It’s funny you know, although I’ve always known about the bigger picture, I think I am now beginning to realise that it is so.  Dad’s stroke, while horrendous for him and us in this lifetime, is but a fraction of the lifetimes to come.  It’s like I am getting little glimpses of the whole and then I snap back into now – does that make sense?  It’s quite difficult to explain but I’m sure you’ll know what I’m talking about.

So – my Dad’s had a stroke and it’s pretty horrible for all of us.  But we’re not the only family going through this, there is a whole building, at just that one hospital, of families who are coping the best way they can.  I hope that at some point I might be of use to some of the patients and families, but we will see.

I hope I am learning many lessons through this experience, I certainly feel they are there for me.

The Launch

Gill, Dominic & Me at the Launch of  Como

Well it happened and boy did it happen!

It feels like I have spent the last week on a rollercoaster and now that I am off, I have that giddy adrenaline rush and the feeling of “wow, I want to do it again”.

As most of you know, last week I was whittling about the number of tickets we had sold and whether our guest speaker, Dominic James, would feel a bit let down by the low numbers.  After all, he was a Reiki Master and published author and probably used to speaking to larger audiences.  I suppose in a way I felt a little in awe that we had managed to get a “famous” person – after all he had made TV and radio appearances!

As the week went by, ticket sales slowly crept up and by mid-week we had reached 30.  Well, I thought, that’s pretty good although it didn’t quite reach my expectation, although I hadn’t a clue what my expectation really was!  I felt it only fair to let Dominic know how many people he should expect in the audience.  In a way I was trying to manage his expectations a little, although heaven knows I hadn’t managed my own.

Friday came, and I had one last session of pleading and begging with my guides to make it the perfect evening for us, and oh boy did they come through with the goods.  Even the rain stopped yesterday and we had brief spells of sunshine.

We totalled just over 40 people in the hall last night, and the energy was amazing.  Dominic was just adorable and more nervous, I think, than I was.  But the evening just flowed, Dominic told us of his life, his writing and his Reiki journey, he answered endless questions and stayed until the very end talking to everyone who approached him. 

So we launched the Como Centre for Enlightenment in grand style and, most appropriately, during Reiki Awareness Week.  Our audience was fantastic, they interacted well, asked questions and made suggestions.  Gill and I now have lots of work to do to ensure that Como meets the needs of all.  We already have two events in the diary – a “Fun with Crystals” workshop at the end of September and a “Holistic and Spiritual Fair” at the beginning of December.

I think my main lessons from this have to be, once again, trust and also learning to manage my expectations.  I know this is the right thing for me to do, and I’m sure we can make it successful, but sometimes I do tend to let everyday life and thoughts overshadow what I know deep down to be right.

But then, I am a work-in-progress!

One Week To Go

This time next week and we will be in the throes of launching our Como Centre for Enlightenment

I am both very excited and very nervous – is that normal?  Yes, I expect it is.

I am excited about launching our Centre and all the wonderful things we can do and the journeys that we will be undertaking.  I’m excited about meeting our guest speaker, Dominic James, and hearing of his journey into Reiki and how he became an author.  I am so looking forward to all the new people that we will be meeting.

I am nervous about this huge leap into the unknown, although I don’t doubt for one minute that this is the right direction to move in.  I am nervous that the evening will be a disaster as, to date, we have not been overwhelmed with ticket sales.  I am nervous that Dominic might think it’s all been a waste of his time if he doesn’t walk into a packed hall.

We have sold some tickets, and we still have a week to go, but just not in the numbers that I expected.  But perhaps that’s my problem – I haven’t managed my expectations very well at all.  A good friend of mine suggested that maybe I ought to consider cancelling the event!  No way – not an option!!  I wouldn’t even discuss it with her.

My partner, Gill, and I have advertised everywhere we can think of, both on-line and locally.  We’ve created a simple website and a Facebook page.  We have no money to put into this venture so are totally reliant on goodwill and free advertising.  People have been very kind and have taken, and displayed, our posters.  We have contacted local radio and hope we get a mention.  Plus, of course, I have been asking “my people” for help – I’m sure they’ll be glad when Friday is over and I quieten down a bit!

There is nothing more we can do.  I’m trying not to worry, it’s one of my daily affirmations.  Worrying will not help one little bit and I have to accept that what will be will be.  We have one week to go, I have trust and “my people” will ensure that this event is as perfect as it should be.

It’s going to be quite a week!

Measles

“Have I had measles?” my son asked in an e-mail earlier this week.

“No”, I replied, “why do you ask?”

“My housemate’s got it, is it catching?”

“Yes, it is – keep away from him.  Although you was immunised when you was a baby, but you still need to be careful”.

I haven’t heard from him since!

Why is she waffling on about measles, you may be wondering.  Well my son is currently in Romania and due to fly home on Monday.  I haven’t seen him since last September when he took off for Brazil, via Spain.  I am so excited about seeing him that I don’t want anything to go wrong.

The night of his e-mail I sent Reiki – oodles of it!  I asked Archangel Raphael for help to protect him and ensure a safe journey home.  Then, for some strange reason (although not that strange really) I had a strong urge to place him in a blue bubble.  As I put him in the bubble, and zipped it up, I saw lots of blue swirling around, which then turned green.  Before I finished I made Reiki available to his housemate, although I don’t know his name so just had to send it to the man with measles in Romania – hope it worked.  I expect by now all men suffering with measles in Romania are starting to feel better!

The next morning I sent my son an e-mail telling him what I had done, and urged him to visualise himself in the blue bubble, and to ask Archangel Raphael for help too.  I don’t know whether he will do it, he may just think I’ve gone a step too far, but he does take Reiki from me when he feels the need.

It’s funny you know, but since I’ve been doing Reiki, and using the five precepts as my daily affirmations, I worry a lot less than I used to.  If this had happened before Reiki I would have been tempted to get on the next flight to Romania and check him for myself, even though he’s an adult and more than capable of looking after himself.  But I’ve sent Reiki and I trust that all will be as it should be.

All I can do now is wait for Monday.  I’m sure I would have heard if he had succumbed to the virus – wouldn’t I?

Using my Intuition

Gill ran our Spiritual Development Group last night and choose to work on developing our intuition.  We started in our usual way with a little prayer, asking for help and protection, and then we had a short guided meditation.

She brought out some Tarot Cards and told us that we were to try to use our intuition to give a reading.  Now Gill had used the Tarot Cards many times before so was quite used to doing card readings but, although I had my own pack, I had not used them for over 25-years and certainly could not remember their meanings.  But Gill reminded us that it was not the literary meaning of each card that we were looking at, we were going to use our intuition too.

In turns we left the room while the remaining three each chose a card.  Coming back we first tried to pick up on the energies and then place each card with the correct person before going on to give a card reading.  I was the last to have a go and felt a little hesitant as everyone before me had been quite remarkable in their interpretation of the cards.  

Hmmmm, I thought, this would be a bit tricky as I don’t class myself as very intuitive at all.  Oh, I had gut feelings but intuitive?  Nah!  However, I was keen to have a go so held my hand over the faced down cards.  Ooooh, how strange, the middle one did feel different and I can’t really explain how.  I even matched it to the correct person and, again, I can’t tell you why.  I didn’t even give it too much thought, but then perhaps that’s the correct way to do it – take your own thoughts out of it completely!!

So I found the card and matched it with the correct person, but I still had to interpret the card, based on what I could see and how I felt when I looked at it.  I started talking - and didn’t shut up.  I honestly don’t know where those words came from  - well, I do really.  I was being guided and I listened !!!  I was amazed, but this was just one card, wouldn’t work again.  Oh but it did.  Gill confirmed that each of my three interpretations were spot on.  Wow!!

We then did a fun thing – out into the garden with paper and ink and like children we made ink blot pictures.  Back inside and we discussed each “picture” in turn.  Although we each saw a few  individual things, on the whole we tended to see as one.  Then, amazingly, we all let our intuition take over and started to read the ink blots.  I’m not sure what psychologists would say about that, but I was totally gobsmacked!

It just goes to show that, when you allow your intuition take over, let your guides help, and stand back – then wonderful things happen.

Another Lesson in Trust

I was asked, a few months ago, if I would like to give Reiki at a Pamper Evening that was being organised as a fundraiser at a local school.  These were to be just 15-minute taster sessions, I would be in a hall with all the other therapists and I could charge what I liked, although they hoped it wouldn't be too much.  I hummed and hared a bit and then agreed.  The main reason for doubt was my concerns over whether any potential clients would have a good experience of Reiki when there was so much going on around them.

As the day approached I still had mixed feelings but I had committed to do it and so I would make the best of the evening.  I had decided that I wouldn't charge but ask for donations for the Bowen4Children Clinic, where I volunteer Reiki.   I was plagued with doubts and I really didn’t think I would get any clients.  It’s the same old thing with me, although I trust Reiki 100% I always think that no-one will want me and that everyone who does Reiki does it better than I do.  But anyway, I would go and at the very least I would be able to talk to people about Reiki and help spread the word.

The day arrived and I asked my guides for help and to make the evening perfect for everyone’s highest good.  My best friend, Pat, had offered to come with me to give me a bit of support and help in any way she could.  We arrived at the school and was shown, not into the main hall where everyone else was, but into a classroom filled with furniture, toys and other stuff that children need at school.  There were to be four of us in the room, giving reflexology, massage, facial rejuvenation and my Reiki.  We cleared enough space and set up our bits and pieces.  I think we all felt a little tucked out of the way and none of us had any idea of how many clients we had, if indeed any.  I asked the organiser for a list and when I got my copy I was delighted to see I had three clients booked in.  They were fairly spread out so that meant I could give them more than the agreed 15-minutes.  Fantastic!

My first client arrived and I started to work --- and I never stopped!!!  Every time I thought I had finished, Pat told me I had one or two more waiting.  Those three clients multiplied into eleven by the end of the evening – wow! 

Why, oh why do I ever doubt?  My “people” had come up trumps again – they never fail me.  So why do I persistently doubt what I do?  It’s a real confidence thing with me and I will really have to work hard to overcome it.  Reiki works, I know that.  I can channel Reiki, I know that too.  So why do I think people will not want Reiki from me?  Something to work on, I think.

On the Threshold

I seem to have been in a perpetual state of excitement over the past couple of weeks.  It seems that Reiki has given my spiritual development a bit of a kick-start and I find that I am now seeing through new eyes.  My brain is in overdrive, constantly deep in thought and ruminating on the merits of doing this, that and the other.  I am finding that opportunities are beginning to open up and I get little glimpses of what might lay ahead.

I feel that I’m at a threshold.  

When I started Reiki, all that I envisaged was having a little Reiki practice and giving healing.  Pretty narrow vision eh?  I set about achieving this dream but found it wasn’t really happening like I wanted it to.  Yes, I was giving Reiki but mainly to family and friends – I wasn’t having people phoning me up asking for healing!  I even volunteered at a cancer centre and hospice, but no they didn’t want me either.  I had learnt to do Reiki but I couldn’t even give it away – what was wrong with me?  That’s when the self-doubt started to creep in and, I must admit, there was a time when it took over big-time and I seriously thought that I was no good at it and I would never be of service to anyone!

Stupid, stupid, stupid.  What had happened to my trust, and why on earth would I think it was all down to me – was my ego really that big?  I sat quietly and thought it all through, and I asked for help and guidance.  Oh, I got the guidance alright, but I didn’t actually like it and boy did it give me a kick up the backside.

Yes, I had learnt to do Reiki but it didn’t make me superwoman who could suddenly go out and heal the sick!  How arrogant was I thinking that people would be rushing to me to give them Reiki.  The sooner I got those thoughts out of my head, the sooner we could move on. Secondly, I was told to stop trying to run before I could walk!  Hmmmm, I’ve always been impatient so this was going to be tricky.  The third thing I was asked was what made me think that healing was my purpose?  I had naturally assumed that, because I had learnt Reiki, I would use it to give healing.  Wrong!

So I’ve done a bit of work on myself – the ego has been firmly put back in its place, I’ve stopped assuming that I know best and I’m learning to slow down and go with the flow!

Which brings me back to the beginning really.  In just a couple of weeks things have started to happen.

I was asked if I ran a Reiki Share.  I didn’t but this pushed me into doing something, so I organised just a small one and it was amazing.  This small group will continue to meet and use the time more as a development group.

I had another request from a lady asking if I had a Share she could join.  I have now joined forces with a very good friend and fellow Reiki Master - we will be expanding the shares and hopefully will be able to take everyone who asks.

I have taught and attuned my first student, which was the best experience ever.  I would love to continue teaching and pass Reiki to more people, so I hope my guides are listening and see fit to accommodate that small request!

I still don’t really know what I’m meant to do but I do know it will happen.

I trust that my "people" know what's right for me and I trust that it will happen when the time is right.

At my threshold the door is opening and the light is streaming through.