Other Side of the World

I have just one son and I love him beyond reason.  He’s a man now, but will always be my baby.  Now I’m sure at this point all you Mums out there are in total agreement, so you’ll understand how I felt last year when he announced that he was off to Brazil for six months. 

Of course I didn’t want him to go, Brazil was the other side of the world and all sorts of nasty things could happen.  And, to be completely honest, I was afraid that he would meet a nice Brazilian girl and want to stay!

But I never really had a say in the matter and, to be honest, neither should I have.  He was an adult, it was his life and he had every right to make his own decisions without any angst being put on him by an overbearing mother.  But that didn’t stop me crying buckets when we said goodbye back in October.

Within my spiritual development I know that attachment is not good and that we all have to deal with separation at some point in our lives.  As mothers we all know the pain of separation, even an hour away from our new born is difficult.  We constantly feel that we shouldn’t be too far away in case we are needed.  As a spouse and partner the pain is immense when separation takes place after a lifetime together.

I do believe, however, that separation is only temporary – at some point we will be re-united.  But knowing and feeling are two different things.   We are living in the here and now and the pain of what we have to cope with is sometimes very difficult.

I know that my child is only about a 12-hour flight away, should he need me.  But next week I will be in Singapore – a bigger distance from my baby!  How pathetic am I?

But at the end of the day, he is living his life and I am living mine.  I enjoy every moment we spend together and when we’re apart I look forward to the next time we’ll meet.  But I have to let go, and I am learning to do this.

My love is with him constantly, as it is with all who I am separated from.